As a child I was anxious, depressed, and insecure. I felt the problems of everyone around me. My childhood was full of trauma, toxic relationships, and disconnect. As I grew into a young adult, I was still experiencing these negative feelings (not sure exactly what they were). I tried to feel better, but nothing helped. Everything I was doing to try to get my life in order was making it worse.
In 2015, I gave birth to my son. I came to realize I was NOT prepared to raise another human. I didn’t even know how to take care of myself. This life event caused me to reflect. I wanted to give him a better life than I had, so I had to figure out how I could do that. I started realizing that everything I thought was an unhealthy environment for him…WAS ALSO AN UNHEALTHY ENVIRONMENT FOR ME. Light bulb moment! My entire life I was fed to believe this was how life was lived, and once I was out on my own, I was still living life the exact same way…the way I said I would not spend my life because I was going to be different. But I wasn’t doing anything different…because I didn’t know how. I didn’t know what I needed to fix or replace in my life. I didn’t have great role models. I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t have the tools. It was time to start over. I needed to start from the ground and rebuild my entire thought process, support system, habits, behaviors, and relationships.
I am happy to finally say that I am a fully functioning parent, wife, and daughter with healthy boundaries, decent parenting skills, inner peace, and extreme motivation. I have a new unexplainable “feather-light” feeling that I have never felt before. I have stepped out of my comfort zone and am crushing my goals. I had to unlearn, relearn, and apply my new system. I hope by sharing my story and experiences that I can help others. My mother was an addict who died of an overdose in 2017. Her actions caused lasting effects on all her children. Thankfully, I was able to change and become the best version of myself, and I would be so grateful to be able to walk with you on your new journey. It’s time to take care of you.